why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
