I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize