You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sober January is a disaster.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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