It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize