also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
