I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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