Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
