i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
