Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
