U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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