I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
