My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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