True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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