I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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