when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
