Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize