why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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