I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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