Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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