i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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