so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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