i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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