I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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