My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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