i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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