My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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