I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
