I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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