Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
