So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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