I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's never too late to be topless.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
