i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
