We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
