i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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