I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
