my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
