So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
