This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we're making bets on your personal life
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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