yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
