ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I could fuck to npr.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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