told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
