I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize