Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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