Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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