do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
