My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
