Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
PANTIES FOUND
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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