Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
