so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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