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I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
