then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
