Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
