No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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