what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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