I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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