U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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