You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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