I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
