i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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