I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
