We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
