Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize