JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
