Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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