he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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