We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
