Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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