No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
