just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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