I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
