I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
