You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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