I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize