there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
