Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
